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THE BREAKUP

It was Friday evening and Tony wanted to wind up his work as quickly as possible. He was waiting impatiently for work to be over at 6 pm. The excitement of meeting Jadesola reflected on his glowing face. Tony and Jade were great pals. The chemistry worked just fine between the two. They had been seeing each other for six months now, and were being rumored as a couple already by their common friends. Tony actually felt a sense of pride and happiness when he came across such rumors.It was like people telling him, what he already knew and something that elated him. He wanted Jade to realize this as well, if she had not done so yet. He was madly in love with her. He just smiled when posed with a question about his relationship with Jade. They had met for the first time at a friend’s birthday party.

Tony was a socialite with a great career graph, a good sense of humor and decent looks. He was perceived in the social circles as the most eligible bachelor.Jade, a couple of years younger to Tony, was a decent looking female and had exceptional conversation skills. They had gotten along very well with each other since the day they had met . Tony had given Jade a lift to her home after the party got over. On the way they had decided to meet over at a film house in the weekend that followed. Since then six months had passed and they were still seeing each other. Tony discussed almost everything, be it his career or his family, with Jade. She also never veiled anything from him. While they mostly had common likings, their views differed radically about love and the institution of marriage. Tony had a very simplified way of thinking. He wanted to get married to the girl he would fall in love with. To Jadesola, love was one of the most impractical things and marriage was nothing more than a compromise. She had no plans to get married in the future even when families had been on her neck. While Tony belonged to a well knit family, Jadesola was born and brought up amidst family problems. Jadesola literally hated her father. Her parents always had conflicts and she attributed it all to her father. Sometimes she also sounded like a staunch feminist to him. He always thought that Jade’s negative attitude was due to the lack of love and care. Trusting that his love would be able to change her perception, he knew that things might take time but would work out well.
The clock struck 6 and Tony rushed out of the office. They had decided to meet once again at The King's court where they usually met. Tony reached on time and Jade too came over soon. “Hey there! how are you doing?” Toni said with a warm smile. She smiled back, “Good! How are you?”They had a good time together sharing their day to day concerns and future plans. After dinner, Jadesola left for her place. Tony on his way back home after dropping Jade was perturbed. His relationship with her was moving nowhere. Not the way he wanted it to go at least. The dilemma was intensifying. “Will I ever be able to change the way she thinks?” he wondered. “What better could I do?” “How can I make Jade happy?” “Will she ever be mine?”He was always preoccupied with these questions most of the time when he was alone, especially after meeting or talking with her on the phone. He lay on his bed with eyes open, blankly staring at the wall. The weekend has started on a perfect note, but then there was this irking that he had been feeling for quite some time.The dilemma was beginning to perplex him more and more each day. Would he be able to continue being friends with Jade, even if she declined his love? There is always a thin dividing line between love and infatuation, he knew. So he wanted to be sure that he had fallen in love with her and it was not just mere infatuation. After giving it a deep thought and reflecting over their relationship so far, he knew for sure that it was love. He brooded over it and then rejected the thought that their relationship was merely good friendship. She meant a lot to him and was much more than a friend to him for sure. The last few times when they had met, Tony had always tried to change Jade’s perspective by narrating the good experiences that his friends, acquaintances, relatives had had with their relationships. Jade was adamant and almost threatened him to abstain from talking about the things that were as silly and baseless as love.He could not sleep the entire night. The Tony who wanted to express his love and the Tony who wanted to abstain fought within. He was able to sleep only in the wee hours of the morning. He had finally made up his mind. He decided to call her up and tell her about his feelings. He still had a deep fear within that he might lose a dear friend.He called her up and asked her out for dinner. Jadesola had a ‘prior engagement’ already. She used to go out with her other male, female friends as well. The weekend was ‘occupied’ so as to say, well in advance. Tony urged that he wanted to give a surprise and requested her to see him for just a few minutes in the evening. On much persuasion, she finally agreed to meet him at their usual meeting spot.Tony kept thinking the entire day about how to convey his feelings to Jade. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. He was excited as well as afraid at the same time. He knew that this is going to be ‘the’ day and firmly believed that it was going to be ‘his’ day! He put on his best clothes; Bought a bunch of flowers; He also called his pastor to seek the divine blessings before meeting Jade. He needed everything to work in his favour that day. This was indeed going to be one of the most, or ‘the’ most important occasion of his life.Finally the moment arrived. He wondered why his heart was galloping like a wild horse as he stood there waiting for Jadesola. He wiped his forehead thrice in five minutes and was sweating profusely. She arrived after fifteen ‘long’ minutes! “Hi Tony! Where is my surprise? And by the way, who do you intend giving those bunch of beautiful flowers to? Got a girl you need my help on? But remember this is Nigeria, you really do not need a bunch of flowers to get a girl” Jade said with utmost smile on her face as she approached him. Tony bent on his knees, held her hand and said, “Jadesola! I love you. Would you like to be the better half of my life?”


The moment seemed to be frozen in time. There was a deafening silence. Jadesola out of shock stared back at him, “Have you lost your mind or what? What made you think that I am in love with you? I can’t believe this. You have really upset me today Tony and I do not think that we should be seeing each other from now on!” she said in a cold voice.“How can she be so heartless?” he thought. “There were other ways of saying no.” This was not what Tony had imagined in the worst of the nightmares. The box full of cookies he got was still in his hand. He stood there like a stone, long after Jade had left. Tears rolled down his eyes. After a while, he wiped them off and went back home. The dilemma had been resolved. First he had been confused between love and friendship and now he had no relationship left with Jade at all.They stopped seeing each other and he had to face the rumor bandwagon again. “What went wrong between them?” was the word around. Tony again ushered in a smile whenever he came across these remarks, only this time the smile was a wry one. The brightness in his eyes had faded away due to the relentless shedding of tears. Though the dilemma had been resolved, Tony sometimes thought that illusion had been better than reality. He always regretted that he should have let the situation persist. They would still be friends at least.For the next six months, Tony never heard from Jadesola. He tried contacting her but all efforts turned out to be futile. She was not at all interested in talking to him. He wept some nights, remained silent for some others and felt lonely for a few days. Slowly astime ticked by, he accepted the fact that Jadesola would not love him ever. Tony was working as usual in his office on a hot Tuesday afternoon. He had returned to his normal life. As he was pondering over a file he heard Tobi’s voice, “Hi man! What’s up?” Tony came to know from Tobi that Jade was not keeping good health. She was suffering from malaria. This information left him both concerned and puzzled at the same time. What should he do now? Had it been the good old times he would not have required a third person to tell him about her. As he returned back from office, he was facing yet another dilemma. “Shall I call her up or shall I restrain?” The question echoed in his mind as he boarded a cab to reach home. When he passed by The King's court where they both used to meet often, Tony recalled the happy times spent with Jade—the eager wait for the Friday evening, a mad rush to get the fresh chocolate cookies and her refreshing smile that made him forget all his worries.As he reached home, he wanted to unwind. He opened his cupboard to take out his T shirt. Suddenly a box fell. It had been buried under the clothes. It was the box of chocolate cookies. It had been lying there since the day he had proposed to her. He wondered why he like the unopened box, he didn’t keep his feelings to himself. Thoughtlessness engulfed him. He felt empty. Why was he not content with Jade being just his good friend? Why did he ask her for more? Would giving more time to the relationship have made her understand him better? Why even after such a long time, when there had been no contact between him and Jadesola was he thinking of calling her up? He did not expect anything from her, but was still bothered about her well being. Was this true love? He failed to decide whether what had happened between him and Jade was ‘right or wrong’. He went on thinking how things could have been better. Exhausted, he finally crashed into his bed. He woke up early in the morning even before the alarm rang. His head was paining severely. As he sat on the sofa, sipping his tea and contemplating he once again started feeling miserable. There are times in life when you do not see an end to the indecision. This is usually when the two options that you need to choose from are equally good or bad.. Tony picked up his mobile phone and placed a call through to Jade. She partially due to her illness and partially due to the recently developed disliking she had for him, did not respond promptly. The only three words that she said during the entire conversation were “Yes”“No” and “Thank You.”Tony kept staring at his phone when she hung up as if he could see her there. He did not feel hurt by her behaviour, nor did he feel the despair he had felt when she had declined his love. He did not contemplate anymore. He had decided that he did not want to define the relationship anymore.He went out of his house to take a walk and carried along the box of chocolate cookies with him. The morning sun again appeared to be rejuvenating and bright. The breeze once again felt refreshing and gentle after a long time. At the park close to his abode he distributed the chocolate cookies to the kids begging for alms. The box was now open as was his heart on the “D-Day”. There was happiness all around this time in striking contrast with the despair on that day. The kids hugged him warmly and thanked him. As he sat on the bench seeing the kids relish the cookies, he could hear a popular song by one of the well known female singers “ Even if you are still thinking whether you love me or not, I am sure I do not love you..." He felt as if it was Jade’s message to him. He got up, smiled at the kids waving them goodbye and walked back to his apartment.